English Author G.K. Chesterton once said, “It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It’s that they can’t see the problem.”  As an Alternative Dispute Resolution Specialist people often ask me why should I choose mediation to deal with conflict and other issues?

Think of a conversation you’ve been putting off. Got it? Great. Then let’s go. There are dozens of books on the topic of difficult, crucial, challenging, important (you get the idea) kinds of conversations. Those times when you know you should talk to someone, but you don’t. Maybe you’ve tried before and it went badly. Or maybe you fear that talking will only make the situation worse.

Your marriage is in question and you're facing a real dilemma. You may be the one who is deciding should you stay or should you go. "I feel like I need to get a divorce and end this so called marriage. Yet how can I be sure? Some days I feel more confident of my decision than others. A part of me still loves him or at least I care for him. I don't think I am in love with him, but what if I make a mistake.

The Challenge; In recent years, as the world has migrated toward a reliance on social networks, the internet of things, and digital transactions, disputes have grown exponentially in terms of number and complexity. In the interest of settling these disputes quickly, given that the courts have become more congested, mediation and arbitration have grown in both prevalence and popularity.

Once upon a time, people who grew old (or older) together, even if unhappy in their marriage, did not consider divorce an option. Today’s world is a much different place. People who once thought of themselves as old at sixty are now active physically, socially, and sexually. Many are working longer, or even starting new careers. And, because the world and its citizens are indeed “a changing”; we are witnessing a dramatic increase in divorces among the 60+ set.

Graduating from high school into college came with the added benefit of having exam time increased from two hours to three hours. This increment of time by 50% brought with it a hopeful sense of having sufficient time to complete all questions satisfactorily. It didn’t take long before it became apparent that even three hours was inadequate. There were questions I would have been able to successfully attempt with more time as well as those I would not manage even if I had unlimited time. Is time-bound mediation a bit like examinations for mediators?